Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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