Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Randomize
