Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
