I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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