butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
