is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
you will always have a special place in my vag
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
