Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
this boner is exhausting
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
