Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Randomize
