Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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