ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
What happened to fro yo and sex?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize