i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
