No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I take back everything I said about communal showers
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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