Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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