I want to stick my p in your. b.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
People with herpes should wear stickers.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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