I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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