I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
