i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
This house was built for laser tag.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
