Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Randomize
