I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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