S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
