she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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