She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize