Is it because I queefed?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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