did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
well you can't waste a boner
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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