so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
