I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
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