Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
