fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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