We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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