We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
