Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize
