My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
im holly from the hills drunk
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
