; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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