All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
