i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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