I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
