why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize