Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
