Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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