You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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