I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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