i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
