im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
