Is it normal to miss your booty call?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
