Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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