All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize