I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
the liver wants what the liver wants
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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