Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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