just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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