those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
