No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
