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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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