I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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