I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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