Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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