What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
