he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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