i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
