my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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