is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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