Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
