she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
