You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
