im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
