singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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