I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
