i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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